A polarized nation

"All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field." -Albert Einstein

With the election now just 13 days away, I can't help but wonder ... what is going to happen when a candidate is chosen for office. Although I am growing hopeful that Obama will beat McCain and, more importantly, Palin ... there are other things that are troubling me.

When I headed to a wedding with Aaron last weekend, I saw quite a few number of Vote Yes on Prop. 8 signs. Yes ... really? For those who aren't aware, Prop. 8 is is an initiative measure on the 2008 California General Election ballot that will eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. I don't know about you, but I believe with all the problems plaguing our state and nation this shouldn't even be an issue. Another friend of mine recently traveled to SoCal and noticed the same trend - far too many Yes on Prop. 8 signs. Are we really that ignorant to history? Civil rights, women's suffrage --- have we already forgotten abou equality for ALL?

We all hold different opinions coming from a variety of different backgrounds and this is something I believe that makes this country such a beautiful thing. We are a melting pot of cultures, and ideas. But lately I have been wondering if we are able to effectively share and blend these different ideologies or if it is like trying to mix oil and water - impossible.

There is no doubt that tension is increasing and hostility is raising as the countdown continues. I don't recall the last time I have had a meal, let alone coffee, with a loved one without politics coming up. Not to say this is a bad thing. This is an important election, no matter what your values are, and voter turnout is sure to be high. But maybe we should take more time to truly listen to one another rather than wonder how we can "win" a debate.

Afterall, maybe that is what is so "wrong" with this country to begin with. We have forgotten how to address public policy without ever knowing (or caring) which party other people are in. As a society it seems our politics have become far too polarized.

Now she's climbing a stairway to heaven

"We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words." -Anna Sewell

August 26, 2007 - October 16, 2008
Honeydew (Piddle-dew), my beloved ratioli
There will always be a place for you to rest on my shoulder and you will remain forever in my heart.

Just three days before my beloved Honeydew passed away, she was diagnosed with a boney tumor. Since taking her to the vet last September, I noticed that her left hind leg was swollen, and continued to swell. So she went to the vet again Monday. Incredibly rare in pet rats, the vet informed me that this type of tumor releases toxins into her body, as well as calcification growths onto her leg that eventually break off and are absorbed in other parts of her body, including her lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe.

Monday and Tuesday night, I cradled her in my arms. She was lethargic and exhausted, but she still took the time to lick me; a ratty's way of showing true warmth and compassion towards its owner. And Wednesday night, I played with her and Peaches (her sister) for what would be the last time.

Even though this pocket pet was only in my life for a little over a year, she made me realize things that I had never even thought about. Honeydew's heart was larger than could be contained in such a small, furry body. She persevered, as long as she could, until the very end. I miss her dearly, but will always remember her. She was considered precious to all that met her, if even for just a brief second.

But I am happy that I could teach her and Peaches to climb ladders before she passed away. After all, now she can make it up that stairway to heaven.

Great expectations

"Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation." - Charlotte Bronte

Last Friday, I attended a Sigur Ros concert at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley with my friend Diana. It was packed. Nearly three years ago and pretty far before they were popular in the United States, I attended a Sigur Ros concert in San Diego. And it was phenomenal. Needless to say, because of the concert that was held Oct. 5, 2005, I was anxiously awaiting the performance. Nearly three months before the concert this year, I purchased their newest CD, Med Suc I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaus, and played it out beyond belief. While initially I wasn't as impressed with it as previous albums, it grew on me.

So when we sat down and watched the band blow the audience away, my mindset eventually changed. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. But what can I say? I think I was shocked when my friend and I were told to be quiet. Where were we again? That's right. A concert of all places! I know that watching Sigur Ros is often like meditating and can be a very spiritual experience, but we had a very different way of appreciating the music than the crowd that was there.

Days later, I still can't quite figure out what made the concert equate to such a letdown. It could have been the shushes by other audience members, the rain that began pouring down at the end of the concert (finalizing my mood) or how much my mentality has changed within the last few years. But maybe, above all else, it was the high expectation I had going into the scenario. It just goes to show that it is easy to let yourself down when you set high expectations. Be open for everything and for nothing. Never settle. But never ask for too much. Sometimes it is best to merely exist, content with every moment presented to you, no matter how it may turn out.

A brief clip of Sigur Ros performing at the Greek Theatre last week.

Winning the rat race, figuratively speaking

"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." - George Eliot

When I signed up for a storage unit today at Lock-it-Up-Self-Storage in Milpitas, I realized just how much my love for ALL animals has affected my day-to-day decisions, even those I give very little thought about.

As I was going through the contract and paperwork with the manager, he began to address a piece of paper stating the acknowledgment of rat poison in my unit. Because they know very little about what other people store, they keep rat poison in each of the units to avoid pests wandering through your valuables. Understandable. But my instinct was to sign the line asking them to take the poison out (And I did). The last thing I would want to see when walking into my unit is a dead mouse or rat considering I have two pet rats I lovingly care for each and every day.

It may seem silly to others, but being a rat mama for just a year and two months, I feel nothing but affection for the rodents that enter my day to day life. May we all find something we feel so passionate and lovingly about. I guess that is one of the most important things in life; the bond between different beings. But for me, that is reaching past human boundaries and into the lives of animals. And just because their needs are seemingly simple, despite their lack of ability to talk with us, doesn't mean they should be neglected of their primal desires. It is the least we can pay attention to as their pet owners. And taking that knowledge or compassion outside our living quarters is only natural, even if the stereotype of the creatures (nasty, sewer rats) may seem more "disgusting" than those you embrace every day. Never forget, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So do not scoff at those that can find beauty in this world. After all, that is one of the most important things to do, especially when life becomes difficult. There is always something to live for, as long as you are willing to acknowledge it.

Smiling, and strumming, in trouble

"I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death." - Leonardo da Vinci

As I have mentioned before, playing guitar is extremely therapeutic for me. Not only does it give me an escape from my worries of unemployment (despite the number of jobs I continue to apply for each day), but quite simply - it allows me to escape (no matter how brief) away from War, hate, deceit and pain. These things do not exist in music.

When I pick up my guitar, all that exists are the chords, note and timing on the sheet music in front of me. And it is truly a beautiful thing.

So last week, when I received a 30-day notice from my landlady, I talked to her rationally about the situation. But rather than remain angry for the duration of the week (and remaining month that I live here), I channeled that anger. Every day, I escaped to the world of music. And apparently it paid off. On Wednesday, I walked into my guitar teacher's class confident of my abilities. I knew I had spent so much time playing "Fake Plastic Trees", that even if I screwed up a little bit, I could move forward. And I did. I played the song ... the entire way through, as my teacher played the melody with me. It may not seem like much of a feat, but for anyone that has heard the song, it is long. And although it isn't very complicated, long songs used to intimidate me. Not anymore.

After I played the song, my teacher set his guitar down, paused for a brief second and said, "That is the most confident I have heard you play a song, ever."

It felt good. Not just good on the superficial level of completing a song and playing it well. But wonderful to know I channeled my negative energy and turned it into something beautiful. Because although I escaped into another world (one of rapture and beautiful harmony) when I was in pain, I was able to bring that beauty back to this world. And it is a truly satisfying feeling being able to share with others my learned life lessons, even if those lessons came from activities like playing a musical instrument. After all, you don't have to step into a church or temple to learn about yourself or grow stronger. There are numerous opportunities to experience heaven right here on Earth.