Angel of music

"Angel of Music. Guide and guardian. Grant to me your glory." - Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Angel of Music"

For the past few weeks, I have been playing Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees." It is a beautiful song that I practice with so much devotion - intent on getting every little thing right - to the point of no return ... my fingers becoming worn and numb after playing the chords in the song on my steel-string guitar. It is actually a comforting feeling that I am used to at this point. It not only makes me feel productive, but satisfied. As if the music has seeped into more than just my memory, but up through my fingers and savored by my soul.

I have only been playing guitar for about 14 months, so I am not upset at where I am in the musical world. I feel like I have made tremendous progress and it has come to my attention lately (thanks to my guitar teacher) that the thing that I have been caught up in recently is important, but a small matter in the grand scheme of things. Something that he can probably pick up more than others because he has been immersed in music for so much of his life now, but probably nothing that the casual listener would notice. Nonetheless, it is something I aim to work through as it is also very telling of my personality.

I have noticed that I have been growing with my guitar lessons because I have been able to transpose them into various facets of my life. Music is extremely therapeutic which is why whenever possible, I pick up my guitar, let go of my worries for the time being and strum along to Mother Music (my God).

But last week I learned something very important. While playing a section of "Fake Plastic Trees", there was a small segment I strummed softer because I wasn't completely confident on the next chord I was supposed to play. This wasn't something I noticed at all, but rather taught myself to "stumble" through. So my teacher stopped me and asked me to play the section over, only this time making it "more believable." I laughed at first. What could he possibly mean by that? After all, I had played the song for him and knew how to play it no other way. He told me that I would know what I meant once I got there, so I played it again, making sure to keep a consistent rhythm, strumming pattern and volume throughout. And as soon as a hit the chord that I had played softer initially, I instantly knew what he was talking about and stopped myself the second time around.

In music, just like life, it is all about moving forward. If you screw up, don't stop. You will only have more chances to redeem your worth by getting back up to speed and playing the music correctly. But by stopping, you are giving up on any chance you may ever have in the future to succeed. It is all about ... moving forward. The music never stops, so you can't. You must become a part of the music to truly understand it.

So in order to get a glimpse into where my mind has been lately, I hope you enjoy this song. It is one that helps me keep my life in check, no matter how difficult I may feel it is getting. Because there is always something to be grateful for, as long as I am being myself instead of living the life of a "fake plastic tree."

"There is a light and it never goes out"

"Take me out tonight. Where there's music and there's people. And they're young and alive." - The Smiths' "There is a light that never goes out"

Last month I saw a Smiths/Morrissey cover band ("This Charming Band") at Slims in San Francisco with Aaron. Not only was it an amazing show, but I learned something about myself. About how the person I am has changed drastically in just a few short years.

Near the end of the show, the band played my all-time favorite song by The Smiths, "There is a light that never goes out." Before I go any further. If you haven't heard the song before, please just click on the video below to experience a few minutes of life-changing music. (no joke)



Needless to say, I was all sorts of excited and dancing around as best I can given Slims is a pretty small venue and there were quite a few people there. Well, the lead singer starts pulling people up to dance on stage with him and before you know it, it was absolutely packed.

I was torn because I wanted to go up on stage, but was worried about hurting my left knee which has gone through many problems in the last few years in the process. Needless to say, I was bummed. Initially. But then I turned around in a circle, looked at Aaron and a huge smile came across my face. I had wanted more room to spin about with him (aka dance) to a song that made me feel truly alive and now I did, thanks to all the people who had climbed up on stage. So we danced it out during an amazing cover of the song.

It sounds silly, but I have found that it is easy to make the best of a bad situation, as long as you are willing. Although you may not always be on stage or in the spotlight, it is often more important to surround yourself with people that truly mean something to you. After all, we never know how long we have, so we shouldn't spread our lives too thin just to please everyone. It is more worthwhile to have fulfilling social interactions with people we cannot live without.

Election 2008

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote." - George Jean Nathan

Friends and family. After reading the message below, please let Cathy Lam know if there are any thoughts you feel may help her confront her frustrations about the upcoming election in a productive, effective way. Any input or words of advice are helpful.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Not only for Cathy and others, but for the sake of your own future and role in this nation.

Shannon

From: Cathy Lam <our1world@gmail.com>

Dear family and friends-What can I do? I cannot sit and think that everything will be alright and that Americans will have some sense and vote for the better of the country. I look at the two conventions - one is calm with hope and the other is charged with feisty fighting.

I do not care whether one is pro-choice or pro-life as that is their personal decision, and it should be left at that. But to use children to promote an opportunistic endeavor is outrageously out of line, in this case with Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter.

I do not want my daughter or son to think that getting pregnant is OK at a young age as long as you marry the person and keep the baby, because the Palin has done this. A child was never asked to be brought to this world in these conditions; a child should be born into a happy, loving, welcoming family. I am mad and angry at the Karl Rove and company to use this tactic.

How does anyone run a company or a country with five children, and one with special needs? If your household is turned upside down, what makes you think you can run efficiently, especially if you are to build up more nuclear arms? Maybe she is truly a superwoman that can have it all. But for me, and many others, I walked a fine line everyday with my personal and professional life, trying to juggle raising two, now healthy and easygoing children.I do not relate to Palin. I want a leader for all, and to me, a leader must lead with a voice of calmness and collaborative ideas.

We traveled the world with our children during the election of GWBush in 2000/2001 and we had to face many world travelers that asked why would America vote for Bush.

I am from a once war-torn country. I still see war in the bodies of the children every time I visit Vietnam. The elders came seeking medical attention, and told me they have bullets in their body that have been fine for so long, but in their old age, has become a burden on their bodies. There are still chemicals they used in the holding tanks, seeping into the groundwater, where the military bases used to be. No Superfund to clean up here.

It has been 40+ years or so and these people carry these scars. I have never seen dead bodies coming home or in the killing field and do not have any personal experiences with soldiers facing traumatic disorders. Our Vietnamese-American community in the United States have many divisive issues, multigenerational social issues, all created by the Vietnam war and outside forces.

We must remember that the IRAQ war is not like Vietnam; it is WORSE than Vietnam! With medical technology, they are able to physically keep soldiers alive. But we have not yet accounted for the killing field that we have created in other countries.

For us to win this Iraq war, we must lose it. There is no such thing as victory in Iraq.

I do not want to see any more Republicans in this administration. It has been going on long enough and we cannot take a chance with Iran.

My son just began college this year and it will be his first chance to vote. He is following the election closely and we are constantly talking about the election and his concerns.

We have been robbing from our grandchildren for sometime now and it is time to pay them back with what they deserve.

Believe it or not, I am a Vietnamese-American Republican still, but have not voted Republican for more than a decade. I want to continue to hear what those phone calls and messages are all about.

I have a small window during the weekends of October 4th and October 11th. I am wondering if it is worth it to hold a discussion for those that may think the McCain/Palin ticket is the one. I do not want to preach to the choir, but feel like I don't have many options. What can I do? Please let me know if you have any ideas about how I can help.

My spouse, Mike, can tackle energy issues and how it will help the economy. Drilling would not make any difference in terms of energy independence, but kill the environment and line the pocket of those with special interest and short-term vision.

Very worried,
Cathy Lam
Newport Beach, CA

In honor of the Year of the Rat ... and my pets

Shannon's blog, Stardate 0911.8: It has been nearly 50 days since I have been employed. And while I have applied to 40+ jobs since working at the Town Crier, I have also discovered other ways to entertain myself, be productive and play with my rats at the same time.

If you can believe it, these pictures were taken the day I took Honeydew (pictured below) into the vet because she was hopping around, not putting pressure on her rear left leg. It is amazing to think how much a small creature persevere, keep on keeping on (or hopping on in this case), when many humans I know find it so easy to just be lazy and give up and feel sorry for themselves.

I hope this inspires you all. Or, at the very least, helps shatter your bias that rats are ugly and unlovable. It is obviously not the case...

After all, you may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks, but I was able to teach my one-year-old rat babies some. ;) Just something to consider before you fall back on stereotypes.

Step One: Honeydew climbs up the ladder to find her rat mama.

Step Two: Honeydew greets her rat mama.

Step Three: Honeydew cleans her rat mama's fingers.

Step Four: Honeydew climbs up her rat mama for a kiss.

Step Five: Honeydew gets a yogurt drop. Why? See steps 1-4 above. Rats are geniuses. ;)

It really is the ... best of Craigslist

"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases." -Carl Gustav Jung

Yesterday, I spent nearly three hours on countless Web sites continuing what feels like the endless job search. After checking Craigslist and feeling a bit discouraged, I was in need of a good laugh and clicked on the "best of Craigslist" section. Needless to say, what began as a good laugh, eventually turned into a good cry because I couldn't stop laughing. I hope you enjoy this entry as much as I did.

And just remember, that when life gets you down or you become too discouraged ... there is always the universal language of laughter. No matter what economic state you are in or where you live, it is always available. And it has to be one of the cheapest medicines to help cure daily disappointments.

Looking for my SOLE-mate

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Date: 2008-08-24, 8:19AM PDT

My name is Right Shoe. I am a right shoe - Skechers circa 2003. I lost my "sole" mate on Saturday in Otay Mesa. His name was Left Shoe.

You see, my owner, Left Shoe, and I were skydiving together, and as the chute opened, Left Shoe, my partner of 5 years, went flying away. I knew this would happen... I tried to tell my owner to tie us better, but he just wouldn't listen. (My owner has been learning how to speak Shoe... but talking to him is mostly like talking to a brick wall)

Left Shoe and I have been inseparable these past few years, ever since we got identical Made In China tattoos. It's like we were made for each other; we were even the same size & color, and we enjoyed the same activities. We traveled everywhere together, and we were even planning on going to Japan together in September.

Some people say Left Shoe jumped on purpose. Sure, we weren't in our prime anymore; Left Shoe especially got a lot of comments about being tattered and over the hill. But I know Left Shoe and he wouldn't do that to me. It was a bad day for Left Shoe because in the morning he stepped in gum, and then later he stepped in an unknown substance on the port-a-potty floor. But he was fine, and was excited to go skydiving. Left Shoe was resilient like that.

I really miss Left Shoe. I've come to terms with the fact that I may never see him again. But I really just want to know what happened to Left Shoe... Did he land in a lake? or did the winds carry him out to sea? or did he leave a little crater somewhere from the impact? or maybe he burned up on re-entry in a blazing fireball of glory.

If you know anything about what happened to Left Shoe, please contact me. I know I can't hope that Left Shoe is still alive, but I just want to know what became of Left Shoe...

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
--Alfred Lord Tennyson

All my thoughts & prayers,
Right Shoe