If it makes you scared, turn it into something sacred

"Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it." - Alexandre Dumas Pere

I've always been a pretty easygoing person, especially when it comes to trying out new things. But during the past couple weeks, I realized that there were things I was holding myself back from just because of a prejudice that I wouldn't enjoy it.

I know we all experience this. Holding ourselves back from something because of a preconceived notion that we won't enjoy that thing to begin with. And for me, that was a movie.

I have a pretty specific taste in movies that usually involves dark comedy, dramedys or foreign films. Because of this, I have developed the nickname "Movie Snob." No sweat off my back. For the most part, I know it's true. But I am proud of myself for recently giving something different a try.

On Thursday, Aaron asked me on a date to get dinner, see a free, sneak preview of "Sex Drive" and go to O'Flahertys in downtown San Jose. As soon as he asked me, I watched the trailer:




Now, after what I mentioned above, it's obvious this isn't my type of movie, but I went anyway. Why? Well, it was a free screening and (more importantly) I wanted to spend time with Aaron. As a whole, I didn't enjoy the movie, but it had some very entertaining and original moments. Great to say considering movies like this are usually 100 percent formulaic (See: American Pie, etc.) After the movie, Aaron apologized. But there was no need. I exposed myself to something I normally wouldn't and I enjoyed the company. Although the end result was not much different than my preconceived notion, I don't regret it.

Instead of being overwhelmed or instantly opinionated by that which is in front of you, sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. It is amazing what beauty you can find in the deep end, even if you are afraid to jump.

The slower my life becomes, the faster my thoughts race

Let's start out with something a little lighthearted - a corny joke:

Q: What did the snail say as he rode on the turtle's back?
A: Wheee!

Since being laid off July 29 - as one would imagine - I now have the time to enjoy hobbies and interests that I wasn't able to indulge because of my 40-hour+ weekly workload. Or at least I thought I would. Although I was bummed out about losing my job, I tried to look on the bright side of things and (with the help of friends pushing that mindset) see it as a vacation. But as a FORCED vacation, I realize the reason I previously avoided truly living in the moment was because I thought something else was occupying my thoughts. The truth is, the more I delve into unemployment, the less I seem to enjoy the countless opportunities to escape into a book or movie, watch the sunset or even just take a short walk - truly enjoying each passing moment given to me each day. It seems as though the more free time I have the more I am taking it for granted.

As a reporter, my layoff from a newspaper is not a unique story. As the ripple effect of the economy continues (housing slump = advertising slump = editorial pages cuts = layoffs) many of my colleagues and friends are being asked to leave their jobs that they passionately worked for, and many with a worse tale than my own. Some have been with their companies for years and were asked to pack up in 15 minutes. Although I may have been laid off at 4:30 p.m. - after obliviously completing a column for my employer that workday - it had only been 10 months. I now have enough time to truly begin my life at a job somewhere else. And, it did fit the equation: Last one hired = First one fired.

I am pushing myself to see the light (no matter how dim) at the end of the tunnel. But it is hard not to see the dark side: That my short-lived time at the paper will not equate to enough experience somewhere else, especially considering all those well-seasoned reporters that are looking for a job just like myself.

As I scour job openings on Journalismjobs.com and Craigslist, sending prospective employers my resume and cover letter from the time I wake up to 1 p.m. Monday-Friday, I can't help but feel that it often takes more time to secure a job than the hours previously worked. And if not, it is definitely far more draining.

So when I was hit with congestion and a sore throat at the beginning of the week, I was frustrated to be forced into laying even more low than usual. With the increased downtime, my thoughts are in a whirlwind. I am less happy because my immune system is down and my worry is up. I have become a bit cynical and am trying to nip that in the butt, despite no cures being available for it in pharmaceutical form.

It's not like my emotional decline is completely undetectable. There is a part of myself that has decreased after my layoff nearly a month ago - my volume of writing. Although it's not much, being able to sit down and listen to music while typing away mechanically on my keyboard for this blog entry during a brief period of time not only gave me the chance to piece together my frustrations, but truly grasp my passions. And that is something we should all take the time to do for ourselves each day, employed or not.

You can't stop the beat - Lollapalooza 2008

(Video by Romelo)

As many of you know, I attended Lollapalooza this year in Chicago's beautiful Grant Park. Not only was it an amazing experience because I have never been to the three-day festival, but I had also never been to Chicago. Needless to say, I definitely plan to go back sometime.

Here are just a few (hidden gem) band recommendations after listening to nearly 36 hours of music:

-James Curd
-Your Vegas
-The Enemy UK
-Grizzly Bear
-Booka Shade
-Ting Tings
-The National
-Chromeo

Experiencing heaven right here on Earth

"But I've been such a nomad all my life, I don't think I'll ever lose the desire to travel to beautiful places - one more archipelago, another ring of standing stones, another glassblowing session in some exotic spot, or just one more trip to Venice to see the full moon over the Grand Canal." - Dale Chihuly

On Sunday I went to the de Young Museum in San Francisco with Louise, a good friend and former co-worker from the Palo Alto Daily News. I must say, of all the other art exhibits I have ever visited, Dale Chihuly's 11-room installation was by far the most awe-inspiring, spiritual thing I have ever experienced. I was on the verge of tears for approximately two hours, the extent of my time there. Because I went on such a sensory overload, I definitely plan to attend again. Thankfully, it is on display until September 28. That said, if you have time, you should definitely check it out. It is well worth the wait, and while I don't want to give too much away, I hope the pictures give you that extra push to make it to the museum, support the arts and experience heaven right here on Earth...

Just a part of Dale Chihuly's Persian Ceiling.

Some of Chihuly's beautiful glass chandeliers.

Just be... exist

"Each moment is a place you have never been."

As often happens during my guitar lessons on Mondays, I end up learning something new. And not just about the song I am playing, which includes musical elements like chord transitions, finger picking, strumming and note reading. But lessons that I can directly relate to all aspects of my life.

After playing the Beatles' "Blackbird" for a number of weeks now, I sat down confident that I would complete the piece and be able to move forward. However, I didn't. And it's not because I wasn't ready to move on. As my teacher put it more precisely: "You are so focused on each individual section that you are forgetting about the music."

It's not that I couldn't play the song, read the notes or even get the timing right. My problem was far more complex than that. Because I was so ready to move on, I was losing focus on the present moment and forgetting about the song. My mind was convinced I had played chords I had yet to get to because I was there (in my mind) already.

And this "problem" applies to all aspects of my life. I know many go through this... Becoming so used to waking up and doing something routine that you can't remember if you already did it that day. It sounds a bit loopy, but the same concept applies to reminding yourself so intensely to exit on a specific road while driving and then you miss it COMPLETELY.

But I believe the larger problem is in forgetting to live in the present. We all have our different addictions during our fast-paced lives, but if we can just remember to "stop and smell the roses" - as cliche as it may sound - we may be able to enjoy others company that much more. After all... "life is a journey, not a destination" and I intend to learn as much as I can on this choo-choo train called life.

"The dreams in which..."

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." - John Lennon

Recently I have had some incredibly strange dreams. This is nothing new, but what does distinguish them from recent dreams is how vivid they were and the intense impact they left. After experiencing them, I decided to Google what they meant. Don't get me wrong, I'm not big on dream interpretation, but after doing some research it made me feel better knowing that a. I wasn't the only one experiencing such bizarre dreams and b. that their defined meanings couldn't be more dead on. I would love to hear what weird dreams you have had, so please feel free to share. I hope that mine inspires you to do just that:

I am chewing a gum and it has lost its flavor. By the time I decide to take it out, it has accumulated into a huge hunk at the roof of my mouth. I pull the gum out, notice it is black and as soon as I throw it away, there is more gum stuck to the roof of my mouth. It left me panicked and immediately reminded me of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." What cruel joke was Willy Wonka playing on me? But, in all seriousness, it was disgusting and I couldn't chew gum for nearly a month after that dream. The definition - although pretty painstakingly obvious: I am trying to chew more than I can swallow. And one that I feel applies much more: "The chewing gum was my creativity that I had stifled inside. I was trying to downplay my urge to do something worthwhile that I was capable of."

Whatever happened to 'Man's best friend'?

" I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying." -George Bird Evans

From the pages of contemporary history books to petroglyphs on stonewalls, it is apparent that mankind has and continues to develop a strong bond with its furry companions.
Animals have held a special place throughout the world for many years. In Egypt, the penalty for taking the life of a Greyhound dog was deemed equal to that of killing a man, Ancient Chinese royalty carried Pekingese dogs in the sleeves of their royal robes and in Ancient Egypt, cats were considered demigods.
10, 000 years ago, dogs were one of the first animals domesticated by humans. And among their extensive benefits, scientists have since discovered that pets can extend the lives of humans. If this is the case, it is often hard to understand why the love and appreciation is not a two-way street.
Just because some owners carry their toy dogs in a purse doesn't mean they should be deemed an accessory and tossed aside when something new or better comes along.
Many of us often become googly-eyed at the sight of an attention craved puppy or a cuddly lap kitten kneading our lap, but it is important to think of the animals needs before it home.
Once it goes from being the cute puppy in the window to a bundle of energy in the household, they often steadily lose their appeal. It is important to consider the long-term effects on the animals if you decide to blissfully and ignorantly take responsibility without giving the time, patience, love or commitment.
According to the Humane Society of the United States, approximately 70,000 puppies and kittens are born in the country each day. This is often the result of someone who breeds their animal – just once – for selfish monetary reasons rather than spaying or neutering their pet.
And because these animals exceed the demand for them, millions of them suffer from issues surrounding abandonment, abuse, starvation, disease and death.
Pet overpopulation is tragic, but there are not enough responsible homes for these innocent animals. And this is not just a problem for animals or shelters.
Each year, communities spend taxpayer dollars to investigate animal cruelty, humanely capturing stray animals and sheltering lost and homeless animals. The Humane Society estimates that there are between 4,000 and 6,000 animal shelters in the United States and that about half of the animals in shelters must be euthanized for lack of homes.
In the United States alone, there are approximately 74.8 million pet dogs and 88.3 million pet cats. But very few animals are actually adopted from shelters even though many purebred animals reside there.
Before you consider breeding animals or even purchasing a pet, stop by your nearest adoption shelter. Even though socializing animals takes time and patience, it is worth it. Animals shouldn't be abandoned and killed because of our inabilities to treat them like like creatures, but cherished like any other member of the family.